I have days when I wonder if I am ANY good to anyone. Now don’t start thinking I have self-esteem issues (well, maybe we all do a little bit). I have a lot of people wanting my time for things that I know I am good at, but I honestly think the problem I have is an inability to say no enough and sacrifice the good for the great. I spent a good part of my day doing something I hate (accounting, billing – yuuuuuck!), but when I was done, I felt awesome. Huh? That’s just weird man. So I had to stop and think about that a bit.
Why did I feel so good? It just felt good to accomplish something that is so hard for me to do. It took discipline to stay at it and not go off into something I enjoy more. I know I have to do it, I know it has good results (did you know people do NOT pay you if you never send them a bill? Imagine that), and I know I will be glad I did it afterwards. SO…., giving up something you like, to do something you dislike can reap great benefits? I believe it can.
Okay – I get it God. I have these things in my life I know I should do (spiritual disciplines). I know I do not do them (even though I have good intent). I know when I do make time to do them I reap great and wonderous benefits. I need help Lord. I need you to help me help myself. That needs to start by dying to myself a bit more.
I think I know where to start. I have to shed some things that are only good, not great. I need to resist doing things that only I see great value in, and start thinking more widely than what is in my head. I cannot just shed one thing and pick up one thing. I need to shed more than I pickup right now, just to make sure there is plenty of time for the great things. ANd some of those great things are not at the top of my enjoyment list.
Gotta keep praying about this one.