Here’s what’s in Dennis’ head…

Last Friday I was having a rough day. I had so many things happening, so many things to do, and was feeling very stressed. Now they were all good things to do, there were just too many of them all happening at the same time. Then I happened to notice where I was driving. I was pretty close to the cemetery where a friend was buried who had passed away a little over 18 months ago.

His name was Kyle Hinson (picture on right), and I miss him. I do not get overly sad when I think of him now, I really do remember some good times. Occasionally when I am riding down the road, I will “speak” to him. He used to call me often when I was driving or he was driving, and we had great conversations. I was a pall bearer at his funeral, and I cried that day with a tremendously sad heart.

So anyway, I was driving by and decided to stop by his gravesite. I got out of my car and sat down beside his grave. He is buried there with his 18 year old son Ryan, who passed away at the same time in a tragic drowning accident where Kyle was trying to save him. I sat there and my thoughts got REAL clear. They got clear because I realized that no matter what was going on in my life today, it really is very temporary. It will pass. Even if it is a good thing to do, the task is still temporary. What is important is the people you meet and what you allow to transpire with them. We leave a mark on each other each time we pass. I decided that moment to go make some good marks on people I encountered (as Kyle had done for me), and focus on THEM instead of the “task”. Thinking of Kyle reminded me of that. I am not sure whether those who have passed before us can actually hear us speak, but I said, “Thank you”, anyway to Kyle.

Now my stress was not all gone, but my perspective certainly changed. I felt much better after I left, and the smile I had was from another visit to my friend Kyle. I realized that just like when he was alive, I left his presence…..

….. with a smile and a lighter heart.

I spent time today preparing for a class that was supposed to happen tonight. It didn’t happen though, God had other plans. A person needed a person, and God put us together. The time I spent today was good time. I was able to go back through a lot of the material my wife and I have been teaching for months now, and remember some of the good points. The struggle was what to present to people in a small “fly by” of the vast amount of material I had. I put it down and got still for a while, and just decided to hit some high points and let God take care of the rest. But then I never got to present it. What’s up with that?

We only expected less than 10 people to show up. Only 1 did. That could have been a bummer, but that 1 person needed to talk. That was God’s plan, and after that talk was over (after an hour or so), I was thankful God made it work out that way. What he did, was put together someone who needed to talk, with someone who wanted to listen. It was good, it was comfortable, and ended up being a blessing for both I think. It wil also result in this person continuing to get some help through the ministry I am involved in. My time today prepared me for something I did not know to prepare for. God is amazing.

I do not know why I continue to be surprised at how God works, it just seems silly. When I let go, he makes things happen. When I try and make things happen, I tend to make a mess of it. Even the desire to help someone else with all the right motives can end up a disaster if I leave Him out. I am ashamed to say I do that way too often. It’s not that I think him incapable, I just forget to follow in my determination to lead and do things to please Him. I need more following roles in my life I think. I need more chances to just sit back and follow others lead, but especially spend more time concentrating on God’s lead. I’m not scared to do what he asks, I am just scared to miss his call. He calls a lot, don’t you think? I just don’t think we are listening hard enough. I enjoy my time with my pastor for a number of reasons, but one of the main ones is that for some reason, he reminds me (not always with words, sometimes with actions) to be still, listen, and obey. I also hear him struggle with the same things at times, and that makes me feel better — just to know someone with his level of spiritual maturity struggles with the same things I do.

Be there for at least one person today, give them a little extra time and see what happens. Look around, that person is there, but if you are not careful, you’ll walk right by them. Encourage someone to follow today, and practice it yourself. It’s pretty simple. Encourage yourself to be still, and know that he is God, and that to follow him is goooooooddddd ……. He sure was good to me today.

I have heard about this for years, and now I AM GOING. I can’t wait. I have so many friends that have gone on this walk, and without exception, they have raved about the experience, but won’t tell me what they did! Secret Society stuff I guess! All I really know is that it is meant to help you take your spirituality to the “next” level, whatever that means. My pastor Jay is my “sponsor”, for which I am grateful.

So what am I expecting? I’ll blog it now, then blog back when I actually do it, just to see. I bet it will be quite a bit different perspective then!
I expect:

1. Some personal time to reflect on my own current spiritual condition
2. To be convicted on where I am today in my “walk” vs. where I want to be spiritually
3. To hear God speak to me on things I have not even considered
4. To meet some like “pilgrims” that I will create a special bond with
5. To be humbled
6. To spend some time in the Word seeking things I do not even think about today
7. To learn to love more
8. Some good group interaction
9. Some tears (from me, for me — from me for others — and some from others for me, I hope)

Small list for now, but I really am stoked about this…….

I gotta slow down.  I need to focus on what’s important.  I am getting pretty stressed right now, and I know that is not God wants for me.  I keep hearing that voice telling me to look around at what I am doing and take stock, but I cannot even find the time to do that right now.  I need to work on the things that give me joy, or that God would have me do.  Here’s my prayer — will you pray that with me?  Thanks.

“Lord, help me identify my focus.  So many good things I want to work on, so many not so fun things I HAVE to work on.  SO many that don’t fit either categroy.  Help me find that balance that will help me grow closer to you.” Amen.